Happy Vintage

This happy posters make me in good mood !!

 

To do or not to do

Regrets You Regret and Regrets You Don’t

By Sophia Dembling

 
"I would rather regret the things I have done than the things I haven’t. –Lucille Ball

I’m taking the Internet’s word that Lucille Ball said this, although surely someone must have said it before her. I did find a similar (typically verbose) quote from Henry James: “I don’t regret a single ‘excess’ of my responsive youth—I only regret, in my chilled age, certain occasions and possibilities I didn’t embrace.”
When I last wrote about regret, the shorter sentiment was mentioned by several readers as a favorite quote to live by. I see the appeal. It’s so…active. So make it happen and caution to the wind.


But it’s also a little bit scary  in the way it practically encourages rash decisions, provides justification for almost anything you might want to do. This philosophy is dangerous unless you keep a level head. Weigh all the pros and cons. Question your motivations. Look ahead to potential repercussions down the road.
And of course, doing and not doing both have repercussions. So you have to weigh those repercussions against each other.
And sometimes you have to choose between change and no change. But in that case, isn’t “not doing” a kind of doing? Is change always the bravest, smartest thing to do? Is it sometimes equally brave and smart to not change?
Sigh.
I believe this philosophy to be sound. I subscribe to it. I want to live by it. I just wish it were a whole lot easier."
 Yes. So true, Sophia Dembling.      

Codependency

Strongly recommended to read:

‘Addicted’ to an Addict? 5 Warning Signs of Codependency

By David Sack, M.D.

People can become addicted to any number of substances or behaviors, including drugs, gambling, sex and food, but can you become addicted to another person? In some sense, yes – it’s called codependency, and it can be extremely damaging to both individuals.
Codependency can arise in any type of relationship, but we most commonly think of the addict and their highly enmeshed spouse or partner. By denying the existence of a problem, trying to control the addict’s drug use or rescuing them from the consequences of their actions, the partner enables the addiction. The partner feels needed and the addict feels justified in maintaining their drug habit. It’s a win-win that actually ends up being lose-lose.
Where do we learn codependent behaviors? Most people learn them from their role models growing up, especially if they were raised in an addicted or dysfunctional home. For example, children of alcoholics are up to four times more likely to become addicts themselves, and about half go on to marry an addict and duplicate the addict/codependent model they saw in their parents. Others may suffer traumatic experiences early in life, which contribute to low self-esteem, a fear of abandonment and other codependent traits.
Since enmeshment is the only way they know how to be in a relationship, few people recognize their own codependent patterns, instead labeling themselves selfless or “too nice.” All they know is that they have a pattern of unstable, one-sided and in some cases abusive relationships. Here are a few additional signs that you may be in a codependent relationship:

#1 Taking Responsibility for Others

People who struggle with codependency feel a heightened sense of responsibility for the thoughts, needs and decisions of others, as well as their ultimate satisfaction in life. Often in a controlling or manipulative way, they try to solve other people’s problems and offer unsolicited advice, doing far more than their share to ensure the individual’s happiness.
Although their efforts may at first seem noble, they are in fact driven by the codependent’s need to feel needed. Serving others, often to the exclusion of their own needs and desires, is the only way they feel valued and loved. All of this self-sacrifice leads to anger and resentment, which often manifests in other mental health issues, including depression, anxiety, eating disorders, sex and relationship addictions, and substance abuse, as well as physical health problems.

#2 Putting Someone Else’s Feelings Above Your Own

Codependent individuals have little sense of self. To sustain some sort of interpersonal connection, they focus on how their partner feels, how they think and what they believe rather than paying attention to their own feelings, values and beliefs. They become consumed by the other person and lose themselves in the process.

#3 Going to Extremes to Hold Onto a Relationship

A codependent relationship is based on fear. Fears of abandonment, being alone or being rejected lead to an extreme need for acceptance and approval, which in turn leads to desperate attempts to please others. The codependent partner resents the addict for being sick, yet fears getting well could mean losing their identity as the addict’s caretaker. As a result, they accept blame where it properly falls elsewhere, change their clothing and appearance to please others, give up friends or hobbies, and go to other extremes to maintain the status quo.

#4 Difficulty Recognizing and Communicating Emotions

There is a sharp disconnect between who the codependent partner is and who they think they are. Because their identity is so wrapped up in another person, their emotions mirror the addict’s. If the addict is having a good day, so is the codependent partner. Without the addict’s influence, the codependent has difficulty making decisions and recognizing and asserting their own wishes. In some cases, they choose to be in a relationship with the addict out of pity or a belief they can “fix” them, mistaking those feelings for love.

#5 Inability to Set and Maintain Personal Boundaries

In the absence of healthy role models, codependent individuals struggle to set personal boundaries that protect them from harm. They say yes when they mean no and take charge of situations that others are capable of handling. Doing so supplies a false sense of self-confidence even as they fail to protect themselves from victimization.For codependents, recovery is less about their relationship with an addict and more about restoring a healthy sense of self. It’s about learning to love and care for oneself rather than trying to fix someone else."

 David Sack, M.D., is board certified in addiction psychiatry and addiction medicine.  Dr. Sack served as a senior clinical scientist at the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) where his research interests included affective disorders, seasonal and circadian rhythms, and neuroendocrinology.  He currently serves as CEO  of Elements Behavioral Health, a network of addiction treatment centers that includes Promises rehab centers in California, The Ranch in Tennessee, The Recovery Place drug rehab in Florida, and Right Step and  Spirit Lodge in Texas.

 

More Spiders

Muahaha

Arachnophobia

Doctors in the dark

To live in the northern hemisphere can be a challenge to anyone, even doctors.

Younger doctors are more depressed.

October 12, 2012 - 06:32

Article from University of Oslo

The younger the medical student, the greater their risk of developing symptoms of depression.

Keywords: Medicine, Mental health, Young adults

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By: Marianne Baksjøberg

One of the research findings is that the younger the medical student is, the higher their risk of depression. (Photo: Colourbox)

In the last 15 years 600 doctors have repeatedly answered questions on their drinking habits and their moods.
The huge data material has been analyzed by psychologist Kjersti Støen Grotmol, who studies hazardous alcohol consumption and symptoms of depression among Norwegian doctors.
All medical students who graduated in Norway in 1993 and 1994 are included in the study, and their alcohol consumption and symptoms have been measured at different intervals.
"Fortunately, our numbers are not alarmingly high", notes Grotmol.
But the study identifies some issues that increase the risk of alcohol consumption and depression.
The young student is more depressed
One finding was that the younger medical student has a higher risk of depression.
Grotmol found that the risk of experiencing symptoms of depression later in life increases according to the age at which medical students enter medical school. The risk increases by ten percent for every year by which the medical student's age is lower at the start of their programme.
The average age of medical students at the start of their studies has fallen significantly since the programme started. This should therefore be followed up in new studies.
Stable alchohol consume, less depression
The study shows that alcohol patterns are stable for 15 years after graduation from medical school, while the prevalence of symptoms of depression falls.
"We found a decreasing prevalence of depression for each year, though the decrease was primarily found in the first year after medical school. The decrease then stabilised", says the PhD-student at University of Oslo.
She looked at factors that affect the risk of depression, such as personal characteristics, the age when they start of medical school, ties to parents, and the confidence in their own medical skills.
A neurotic personality with low self-confidence and high self-criticism triples the risk of developing symptoms of depression.
The importance of expectations
The expectations that someone has regarding how alcohol works and what it does to body and mind has long-term effects on their drinking patterns.
"A general expectation that alcohol reduces anxiety increases the risk of hasardous drinking six years into the future", says Grotmol.
She believes it is important to pay attention to these expectations when trying to reduce alcohol consumption. Other studies have shown attention to expectations reduces drinking.
"We must put this on the agenda. It is always important to work on attitudes. As the levels of depressive symptoms are high early on in medical school and in the career, it is important to intervene quickly and to start prevention early in order to prevent an undesirable development", Grotmol concludes.

French Vintage

I have a thing about Vintage-photos, and I just have to share this lovely posters from France.
Maybe one day when I get that camping-car I dream of I will take a journey through this
romantic roads between castles and wines...au revoir...