Dr. Phil on Making Major Decisions

"We all face times in life when we find ourselves in a situation that's so lousy, we're ready to run headlong for anything, anyone, or anyplace. We're desperately looking for something different, without regard for whether it's better, healthier, or even what we want. We just have to get out, so the plan is "Ready, fire, aim!"

Sometimes it may be okay to shoot and then declare what you hit as your target -- but not when we're talking about your marriage, your career, or your life goals. That's why every time you're looking at a major decision, your first test should be to make certain you're running toward something instead of running from something. You need to ask yourself, "Is this an escape-based decision or a target-based decision?" If it's the former, you may be going from the proverbial frying pan right into the fire.

Think back to geometry class: You can't make a straight line unless you can connect two points. When all you've got is a starting place but no destination, you're left with just a dot. How can you plot the trajectory of your life that way? The only direction you're headed in is "Not here!"

That's not good enough.

...Escape-based choices are almost always disastrous, because they solve only half the problem. Target-based decisions at least have a shot at being successful, so keep that in mind every time you have a significant choice to make. Don't be pushed away from what you don't want; let yourself be pulled toward what you do want. I'm not saying your end goals can't change -- of course they might. But don't tell yourself, "So what if this isn't what I'd hoped for? Heck, it beats what I've got." You deserve better."

-Dr.Phil,  read Make The Right Decisions

To do or not to do

Regrets You Regret and Regrets You Don’t

By Sophia Dembling

 
"I would rather regret the things I have done than the things I haven’t. –Lucille Ball

I’m taking the Internet’s word that Lucille Ball said this, although surely someone must have said it before her. I did find a similar (typically verbose) quote from Henry James: “I don’t regret a single ‘excess’ of my responsive youth—I only regret, in my chilled age, certain occasions and possibilities I didn’t embrace.”
When I last wrote about regret, the shorter sentiment was mentioned by several readers as a favorite quote to live by. I see the appeal. It’s so…active. So make it happen and caution to the wind.


But it’s also a little bit scary  in the way it practically encourages rash decisions, provides justification for almost anything you might want to do. This philosophy is dangerous unless you keep a level head. Weigh all the pros and cons. Question your motivations. Look ahead to potential repercussions down the road.
And of course, doing and not doing both have repercussions. So you have to weigh those repercussions against each other.
And sometimes you have to choose between change and no change. But in that case, isn’t “not doing” a kind of doing? Is change always the bravest, smartest thing to do? Is it sometimes equally brave and smart to not change?
Sigh.
I believe this philosophy to be sound. I subscribe to it. I want to live by it. I just wish it were a whole lot easier."
 Yes. So true, Sophia Dembling.      

A new journey to somewhere

I will begin with to say that the life itself may slowly kill us,(surprise) that is why we need to be aware of the signals!
We can do a lot to stay happy,healthy and perfectly sane as long as we can recognize the ingredients and add them in moderate amounts. And keep away from the toxics that can disturb our mental or physical well-being!
Even if we try to do all of that right it still sometimes arises a need to turn things upside down. That is somehow what my Life Experiment is all about.

With good helpers and friends I have hopes that this will be a exiting journey that one day ends up into something new and beautiful..(although life itself is a journey that hopefully never ends and the beauty of it is everything that you see on your way)

 So.. this year is basically all about me and that will be a new experience so to speak.
 I will love to share big and small events as they come by and .. we will see what comes out of it!