The Power of a Smile

The acclaimed aviator and adventurer wrote Letter to a Hostage for his friend Léon Werth while waiting in Portugal for a passage to the United States, having just escaped the terrors of war-torn France. Saint-Exupéry's observations on the aimless existence of his fellow exiles in Lisbon filled with parties, gambling and spies leads him to examine the nature of existence itself.

"Then the miracle happened. Oh! a very discreet miracle. I had no cigarette. As one of my guards was smoking, I asked him, by gesture, showing the vestige of a smile, if he would give me one. The man first stretched himself, slowly passed his hand across his brow, raised his eyes, no longer to my tie but to my face, and, to my great astonishment, he also attempted a smile. It was like the dawning of the day.                                                                                                         
This miracle did not conclude the tragedy, it removed it altogether, as light does shadow. There had been no tragedy. This miracle altered nothing visible. The feeble oil lamp, the table scattered with papers, the men propped against the wall, the colors, the smell, everything remained unchanged. Yet everything was transformed in its very substance. That smile saved me. It was a sign just as final, as obvious in its future consequences, as unchangeable as the rising of the sun. It marked the beginning of a new era. Nothing had changed, everything was changed. The table scattered with papers became alive. The oil lamp became alive. The walls were alive.The boredom dripping from  every lifeless thing in that cellar grew lighter as if by magic. It seemed that an invisible stream of blood had started flowing again, connecting all things in the same body, and restoring to them their significance. The men had not moved either, but, though a minute earlier they had seemed to be farther away from me than an antediluvian species, now they grew into contemporary life. I had an extraordinary feeling of presence. That is it: of presence. And I was aware of a connection. The boy who had smiled at me, and who, until a few minutes before, had been nothing but a function, a tool, a kind of monstrous insect, appeared now rather awkward, almost shy, of a wonderful shyness — that terrorist! He was no less a brute than any other. But the revelation of the man in him shed such a light upon his vulnerable side! We men assume haughty airs, but within the depth of our hearts, we know hesitation, doubt, grief.

Nothing had yet been said. Yet everything was resolved."

Paulo Coelho quotes

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Large talk

To do or not to do

Regrets You Regret and Regrets You Don’t

By Sophia Dembling

 
"I would rather regret the things I have done than the things I haven’t. –Lucille Ball

I’m taking the Internet’s word that Lucille Ball said this, although surely someone must have said it before her. I did find a similar (typically verbose) quote from Henry James: “I don’t regret a single ‘excess’ of my responsive youth—I only regret, in my chilled age, certain occasions and possibilities I didn’t embrace.”
When I last wrote about regret, the shorter sentiment was mentioned by several readers as a favorite quote to live by. I see the appeal. It’s so…active. So make it happen and caution to the wind.


But it’s also a little bit scary  in the way it practically encourages rash decisions, provides justification for almost anything you might want to do. This philosophy is dangerous unless you keep a level head. Weigh all the pros and cons. Question your motivations. Look ahead to potential repercussions down the road.
And of course, doing and not doing both have repercussions. So you have to weigh those repercussions against each other.
And sometimes you have to choose between change and no change. But in that case, isn’t “not doing” a kind of doing? Is change always the bravest, smartest thing to do? Is it sometimes equally brave and smart to not change?
Sigh.
I believe this philosophy to be sound. I subscribe to it. I want to live by it. I just wish it were a whole lot easier."
 Yes. So true, Sophia Dembling.      

Altruism

 Have you been known for being the one that never say no when someone ask for a favor? Would you be the first person in you family to be asked to do unpleasant things, in unpleasant hours? Maybe you are a little bit "Altruistic"! If you are a Christian you have already learned about the "new commandment", from John 13; 34,35. However, not all Christians are pure Altruists,nor all Altruists are Christians.
  According to Wikipedia....
"Altruism is the principle or practice of concern for the welfare of others. It is a traditional virtue in many cultures, and a core aspect of various religious traditions, though the concept of 'others' toward whom concern should be directed can vary among cultures and religions. Altruism is the opposite of selfishness.
Altruism can be distinguished from feelings of duty and loyalty. Altruism is a motivation to provide something of value to a party who must be anyone but oneself, while duty focuses on a moral obligation towards a specific individual (e.g., a god, a king), or collective (e.g., a government). Pure altruism consists of sacrificing something for someone other than the self (e.g. sacrificing time, energy or possessions) with no expectation of any compensation or benefits, either direct, or indirect (e.g., receiving recognition for the act of giving)."

Interesting to see the different ways to Altruism:
 .."There has been some debate on whether or not humans are truly capable of psychological altruism.^[19] Some definitions specify a self-sacrificial nature to altruism and a lack of external rewards for altruistic behaviors.^[20] However, because altruism ultimately benefits the self in many cases, the selflessness of altruistic acts is brought to question. The social exchange theory postulates that altruism only exists when benefits outweigh costs.^[21] Daniel Batson is a psychologist who examined this question and argues against the social exchange theory. He identified four major motives for altruism: altruism to ultimately benefit the self (egoism), to ultimately benefit the other person (altruism), to benefit a group (collectivism), or to uphold a moral principle (principlism). Altruism that ultimately serves selfish gains is thus differentiated from selfless altruism, but the general conclusion has been that empathy-induced altruism can be genuinely selfless.^[22] The empathy-altruism hypothesis basically states that psychological altruism does exist and is evoked by the empathic desire to help someone who is suffering. Feelings of empathic concern are contrasted with feelings of personal distress, which compel people to reduce their own unpleasant emotions. People with empathic concern help others in distress even when exposure to the situation could be easily avoided, whereas those lacking in empathic concern avoid helping unless it is difficult or impossible to avoid exposure to another's suffering."
..
" After controlling for prior health status, it was determined that volunteerism accounted for a 44% reduction in mortality.^[32] Merely being aware of kindness in oneself and others is also associated with greater well-being. A study that asked participants to count each act of kindness they performed for one week significantly enhanced their subjective happiness.^[33] It is important to note that, while research supports the idea that altruistic acts bring about happiness, it has also been found to work in the opposite direction—that happier people are also kinder. The relationship between altruistic behavior and happiness is bidirectional. Studies have found that generosity increases linearly from sad to happy affective states.^[34] Studies have also been careful to note that feeling over-taxed by the needs of others has conversely negative effects on health and happiness.^[30] For example, one study on volunteerism found that feeling overwhelmed by others' demands had an even stronger negative effect on mental health than helping had a positive one (although positive effects were still significant).^[35] Additionally, while generous acts make people feel good about themselves, it is also important for people to appreciate the kindness they receive from others. Studies suggest that gratitude goes hand-in-hand with kindness and is also very important for our well-being. A study on the relationship happiness to various character strengths showed that “a conscious focus on gratitude led to reductions in negative affect and increases in optimistic appraisals, positive affect, offering emotional support, sleep quality, and well-being.”^[36]..."

A conclusion to this must be that empathy-altruism  would be the most beneficial type behaviour(I think not only behavior but personality) for all parts, but however there is a downside- although evidently a person with this qualities truly benefit from the unselfish behavior it can be totally wrong when the other part demands more than you can give.
Source: Wikipedia