Dr. Phil on Making Major Decisions

"We all face times in life when we find ourselves in a situation that's so lousy, we're ready to run headlong for anything, anyone, or anyplace. We're desperately looking for something different, without regard for whether it's better, healthier, or even what we want. We just have to get out, so the plan is "Ready, fire, aim!"

Sometimes it may be okay to shoot and then declare what you hit as your target -- but not when we're talking about your marriage, your career, or your life goals. That's why every time you're looking at a major decision, your first test should be to make certain you're running toward something instead of running from something. You need to ask yourself, "Is this an escape-based decision or a target-based decision?" If it's the former, you may be going from the proverbial frying pan right into the fire.

Think back to geometry class: You can't make a straight line unless you can connect two points. When all you've got is a starting place but no destination, you're left with just a dot. How can you plot the trajectory of your life that way? The only direction you're headed in is "Not here!"

That's not good enough.

...Escape-based choices are almost always disastrous, because they solve only half the problem. Target-based decisions at least have a shot at being successful, so keep that in mind every time you have a significant choice to make. Don't be pushed away from what you don't want; let yourself be pulled toward what you do want. I'm not saying your end goals can't change -- of course they might. But don't tell yourself, "So what if this isn't what I'd hoped for? Heck, it beats what I've got." You deserve better."

-Dr.Phil,  read Make The Right Decisions

10 thinks to STOP doing if you want to be HAPPY!

Written by James Clear

1. Avoiding deep and meaningful connections (like marriage, close friendships, and staying in touch with family)

 Ultimately, the human experience is about connecting with other people. Connection is what provides value and meaning to our lives. We’re wired for it and research proves just that.

2. Sitting wrecks our bodies: It can significantly increase risk of cardiovascular disease 

You might want to stand up for this. The internet has gone crazy over this infographic that describes the harmful effects of sitting all day.

3. Never stopping to just breathe.

From the time you wake up until the time you go to bed, do you ever take 15 minutes to just sit and breathe? I rarely do. And that’s a shame because the benefits of mindfulness and meditation are huge. Meditation reduces stress and anxiety. Meditation improves your quality of life and boost your immune system. Meditation has been shown to decrease anger and improve sleep, even among prison inmates.

4. Not joining a (spiritual) community

There is an interesting and growing body of medical research that has discovered the positive health effects of religion and spirituality. The science doesn’t necessarily say that there is anything inherently healthy about religion, but it’s all the by-products that come from practicing religion that can make a big difference.For example, people with strong faith often release control of their struggles and worries to a higher power, which can help to relieve anxiety and stress. Religious groups also offer a strong source of community and friendships, which is critical for health and happiness. In many cases, the strength of friendships formed with fellow believers can last for decades, and those strong personal ties are crucial for long-term health.

5. Ignoring your creative abilities.

Expressing yourself creatively reduces the risk of disease and illness while simultaneously strengthening your health and wellness. For example, this study from the Harvard School of Public Health revealed that art helps to reduce stress and anxiety, increase positive emotions, and reduce the likelihood of depression, along with many other benefits.Another study, which was published in the Journal of Biobehavioral Medicine, discovered that creative writing improved the immune system response of HIV patients. For more ideas on why creating art is healthy, read this: The Health Benefits of Creativity.

6. Spending all day indoors.

Exploring the world around you — whether that means traveling to faraway lands or hiking through the woods in your area — provides a wide range of mental and physical benefits. For starters, the benefits of sunlight (and the negative effects of artificial light) are well-documented in research. We know that not being outdoors enough significantly decreases our Vitamin D intake. Additionally, researchers have begun to discover that wilderness excursions — known as “adventure therapy” — can promote weight loss, improve the self-esteem of people with mental illness, and evenreduce the rearrest rates of sex offenders.

7. Spending your time consuming instead of contributing and producing.

When you cease to make a contribution, you begin to die.

—Eleanor Roosevelt

“You can’t control the amount of time you spend on this planet, but you can control what you contribute while you’re here. These contributions don’t have to be major endeavors. Cook a meal instead of buying one. Play a game instead of watching one. Write a paragraph instead of reading one. You don’t have to create big contributions, you just need to live out small ones each day.”

8. Working too much and in a job that you don’t love

Basically any way in which your job makes you feel stressed is bad for your health — unpredictable commutes, tension and disagreement with your boss or coworkers, feeling undervalued or unappreciated. Even working overtime increases the risk for coronary heart disease, independent of outside factors.

Another crucial element to observe here is to fall in love with our body’s natural rhythm of working: The Ultradian Rhythm. Taking consistent breaks and not working for longer than ~90 minutes, can have a huge benefit for our health and feeling of happiness:

9. Eating alone

Brian Wansink, a Cornell professor and author of Mindless Eating, has written that when people eat alone they are more likely to have a large binge feeding. Additionally, diets suffer when people eat alone. Lonely diners tend to eat fewer vegetables and less healthy meals. It seems that we make less of an effort to eat well when we are by ourselves than when someone else is involved.

10. Believing that you are unworthy of health, happiness, and love

"There was only one variable that separated the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging and the people who struggle for it. And that was that people who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they’re worthy of love and belonging.

"That’s it. They believe they’re worthy. The one thing that keeps us out of connection is the fear that we’re not worthy of connection."
—Brene Brown

"If you allow your fear or vulnerability or shame to prevent you from showcasing your true self, then you will be preventing yourself from connecting fully with others. If you want to be able to move past fear, judgement, and uncertainty and into a healthier and happier life, then you have to give yourself permission first. You have to decide that you’re worthy.

Read everything;  10-things-to-stop-doing-to-yourself-to-be-happier-backed-by-science

This is some of the best advices I have seen collected together, I think I will print them out and leave them on my fridge! With chronic pain and fatigue it can be hard to get out of the chair/bed/sofa. I think I must make a commitment to myself, so I can begin with improving one point at the time every week. 
Then we will see how it works, maybe I feel happier in ten weeks from now ! 

Words of Anais Nin

A new journey to somewhere

I will begin with to say that the life itself may slowly kill us,(surprise) that is why we need to be aware of the signals!
We can do a lot to stay happy,healthy and perfectly sane as long as we can recognize the ingredients and add them in moderate amounts. And keep away from the toxics that can disturb our mental or physical well-being!
Even if we try to do all of that right it still sometimes arises a need to turn things upside down. That is somehow what my Life Experiment is all about.

With good helpers and friends I have hopes that this will be a exiting journey that one day ends up into something new and beautiful..(although life itself is a journey that hopefully never ends and the beauty of it is everything that you see on your way)

 So.. this year is basically all about me and that will be a new experience so to speak.
 I will love to share big and small events as they come by and .. we will see what comes out of it!